VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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