Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
