It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
tell me about the fingering
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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