She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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