Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
