Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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