i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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