College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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