Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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