I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
