I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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