Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
