WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
