My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
