I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I don't deserve a penis
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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