Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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