She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Pants are for mortals
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
