God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
