They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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