No stitches, just platelets and will power
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
