We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
