just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
