I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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