I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize