break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
