just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
