You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
They took my balls.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
