those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
zippers are such a cool invention
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
