My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Randomize
