Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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