Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize