we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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