i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
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