remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize