So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If I die, sorry about rent.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize