and i looked up. we had an audience...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
