he puts the penis in happiness.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
