She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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