i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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