yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
