you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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