He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
