Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
