goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
third nipple confirmed
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
