That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
