its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
