hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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