the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
