am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
