Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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