I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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