He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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