is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
