i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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