For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
