I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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