I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
