if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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