and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
