Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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