Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
