You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
