I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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