My nipple is on Facebook.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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