Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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