Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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