just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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