I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize