i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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