I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
