No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
