the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
